If you choose to pursue the creative life, you may find yourself feeling a bit lonely at times. It’s not that you won’t have friends as a creative, but you may find that many of your friends won’t understand your life path. That can leave you feeling lonely.

Carl Jung once said, “Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself.” In other words, you don’t get lonely from being alone, but rather from being not understood. The creative life itself is not lonely. (Despite what movies like to show, not all artists are holed up in their rooms completely devoid of social contact as they lose themselves in their art. We have friends too). The loneliness comes from being surrounded by too many “normal” people. People who have standard 9-5 jobs won’t necessarily understand your occupation.

The Creative Life Is A Unique Path

Because the creative life is a not a traditional path, you may find yourself experiencing unique situations that you’re unable to share with your “normal” friends because they’ll be unable to relate. Just as you won’t be able to relate to your “normal” friends when they sit around complaining about their 9-5 jobs and you don’t. The creative path can also lead to a lot of doubting.

When you’re first starting out in the creative, you’re probably not going to make a lot of money. Friends who don’t understand your drive to create won’t be able to understand why you spend a million hours working on a project that nets you less than minimum wage. They may tell you that you’re wasting your time. That you should get a “real” job. They may think what you’re doing isn’t a business; it’s just a hobby. But that’s all because when you’re a creative, you’re often chasing a dream only you can see. (And sometimes their disbelief is motivated by a subconscious jealousy. Sometimes people try to dissuade you from pursing your dreams, because deep down, they wish they had the courage to pursue their own).

You Have to Believe In Yourself First

In the movies, the main characters often get support from people who believe in them before they believe in themselves. In real life, if you don’t believe in yourself first, no one else is going to either. It does happen once in a while, but it’s pretty rare. Usually you need to attain some small bit of success before your “normal” friends jump on your support wagon.

You’ll probably spend some lonely days believing in yourself while surrounded by well-meaning, but ultimately not helpful naysayers. You’re going to have to push through and outlast the naysayers. If you can’t, then the creative life may not be for you. But if you can, you get to prove the naysayers wrong. And ironically, those who believed in you the least, are usually the first ones to brag to everyone that they know you when you finally attain some level of success.

Some People Just Want to “Help”

Then there is a flip side. You may end up with some “normal” friends who are very supportive, but just don’t understand the creative process. They may think you’re not doing enough to promote yourself or be overflowing with ideas to “help” you move forward. For example, if you’re a script writer, they’ll tell you the latest script you just wrote is fabulous and you should submit it to (insert famous director’s name here). Because yeah, of course you have every famous director’s address in your Rolodex right? And of course, no one else has ever tried that, so the famous director will definitely take the time out of their busy schedule to read this fabulous script from an unknown writer, right? No. It doesn’t quite work like that.

Fortunately there an easy solution to deal with any negativity or misunderstanding you may find yourself up against. Make new friends. Of course that doesn’t mean you should suddenly get rid of your current friends. It just means you should strive to make at a least couple friends who are fellow creatives.

Find People Who Understand You Too

If you have even one friend or two who understands your life path, you won’t be so affected by the naysayers. You’ll be able to enjoy time with your “normal” friends realizing that even though they may not understand your choice; there are some people who do.

As we go through life, our circles of friends tend to change. They grow and shrink and new people enter and leave our circles of friends. So just try to make sure some of those new people entering are fellow creatives. You’ll find your own life path much less lonely and much more rewarding if you have a few people who understand you. As a bonus, you’ll be able to bounce creative ideas off each other. And that is how creativity grows!

So how about you? Are you lucky enough to have a few fellow creatives who really “get you” in your circle? Or are you still mostly surrounded by people who think you’re nuts for trying to make money off a “hobby.” Let me know in the comments below.

Written by Amber Reifsteck, The Woodland Elf

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